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First of all...why the devil do they call it SunMart? There
is no sun in that Godforsaken land of death. Anyway....
Friday. Loading cars with wild abandonment and enthusiasm.
Lively chatter. Grins.
Dreams of a 5 hour race. Check in hotel and boogie to Houston
for the goodies. Check out the competition. Hmmm. I bet I
look that good too. Whoa. Hope she is in the 50K race....and
not faster than me. Eat too much. Then eat dessert. Will run
it off? Of course. Back to the hotel. Sleep? Course not. Kyle
is in the room. Size 42 feet sticking out of his bedroll and
eclipsing the moon. He sleep talks and tosses more than a
cheap salad. Not much rest. All four of us (Haulin', Boom-Boom,
the Flying Mastodon and Unka Din-Din) awake at 3.30am, waiting
for the 4:30 alarm. Finally get up and it is raining and cold.
Reality sets in. Get to the course. Try and set up a new tent
in the rain. It's set up wrong and double ugly but it works.
Debate on whether to wear my tights or not. Listen to others
and decide not to. You twit. First mistake and I'm not even
running yet. Load up fanny pack with Accelerade, Race Caps,
Enduro Caps, Endurolytes, Hammer Gel and stuff. Everything
fits like socks on a rooster but it weights 50 pounds. What
the heck. I'm tough. Heh-heh. Watch the 50 milers take off.
Yes, baby, we are ready. Let me at it. Line up with the 50
K's to go. Bamm. We go. This course is mine, you hear me,
all mine. Watching my new heart monitor go 80, 90,120, 135,
145. That's where I plan to run. Oops. Haulin' is haulin'.
Run hard to keep up. Pass people on muddy trail on right,
then left. Race plan goes out the window. Haulin' says "High
step through the water". Right. Add 20 pounds to your
gut and butt and then talk high step. Run on trail. Run through
water. Squish through slimy mud. Leaping streams. Well, sort
of. Loving every minute of it. Still high on insanity. After
mile 4 or 5 decide to take off plastic parka. More water hitting
me from my splashes below than rain from above. After 6 miles
back to starting area to go to the 12 1/2 mile loop. Still
enthused. Kept up with Haulin'. Passing good looking woman.
Suck in gut and pound the ground. Yeah, baby. I'm bad.
On second loop, rain lets up. All right. Cold wind starts.
Aw hell. Heart monitor starts hitting 155, 158...160. Haulin'
is on cruise. I'm on the death march. Finally tell Haulin'
I'm gonna slow to 150. He slows with me. Well, that worked
for a couple of minutes. He speeds up. See the writing in
the mud. We ain't gonna finish together. Take a left (somewhere)
up pig alley. Mud had to have been hauled in from slimesville.
One step forward and 1/2 slide back. Whish. Whish. Faster
runners (aren't they all?) passing us, as this is an out and
back. Dang. They looked serious. Hey Haulin', how come they
weren't laughing and joking? Found out the slippery uphills
became really slippery downhills coming back. Slowly pick
your way down or it's up to your beeeuutocks in mud. Getting
colder now. Not as much fun. But still going on. At mile 14
or so I'm getting cold and the old legs are shutting down.
Feet are numb. Could care less if that good looking woman
at the expo was anywhere near...unless she had a hot water
bottle. Boom-Boom has caught us. Good. More body heat can't
hurt. Back to the start...again. Last mile feet were so cold
every little rock felt like a knife to my feet. At the tent?,
changed into dry socks and shoes and added wind breaker pants.
Get into your tights you idiot. No time. Sports Magazine might
be watching and timing my transition. But the warm shoes were
wonderful. Did the happy feet dance. Oh yeah. Another 12 and
1/2 to go. Run squish..run squish. Keeping feet dry this round,
Jack. Trail had gotten worse, as if that was possible. Where
the heck did all this water come from? Kept looking for an
ark being built somewhere. Whish, Whish. More fast runners.
Oh bite my cold butt. Who cares? (Wild enthusiasm was waning)
After 3 or 4 more miles found it traumatic to stop at rest
stops. Legs would not listen to reason, fair play or threats
to start again. Had to resort to walking thru stops and grabbing
food stuff on the move. Later found out you could just walk
in circles and get more food without stopping. At some point
Haulin' took off. Like I really cared. Smart ass. Then Boom-Boom
became a small figure in the distance. Never cared for him
either. This is my walk...er.... race. Just past one rest
stop was a cold stream. And no way around it. Thought of Teresa
on training run telling me to "Don't stop. Just keep
going". So I did. Straight through it. Banzai. Good.
Now feet are really cold and super wet. Never like Teresa
either. Going slower and slower. Finally looked at heart monitor.
Was glad to see it was working, and my heart was too. Was
at 137. I wasn't that tired but my bod was moving slow. Legs
just froze up. I begged. I pled. I threatened. But they just
said no. For that I grounded them this week. So I just slipped
and plodded my way to the end. A couple of hundred yards from
the finish Haulin' and Veronica were finished and taking pics.
I smiled as I went by but wanted to tell him, "High step
this". Ran - yep ran- under the finishers thingy and
got my medal and prize. At a windswept time of 6:19. Good.
My plan all the time was just to beat 6:21. And with room
to spare. Yeah right. Then to the tent to get dry clothes.
But had none. Good planning twit. Woulda worn a prom dress
about then, if it would have made me warm. Soon others came
in. And then Debra and Steve finished their third round to
go out for their 4th and last one. Pure admiration for them,
the idiots. Although cold, wet and tired - and told not to
go on by race officials - they did go on. I felt a little
warmer then. And later on that night (as in cold, wet, very
tired and no light except for flashlights), they did finish....in
all our books.
So to sum up, when can we do it again?
Dinty (Moore) ...the mud slut
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